When we’re young relationships don’t tend to last too long – they tend to be a mixture of platonic friendships, one-night stands, fuck buddies, sympathy shags, and ‘pestering’. And even longer relationships tend to be based on sex rather than companionship or living together. Monogamy, or quite rapid serial monogamy doesn’t come at much of a cost.
But as we grow older and ‘invest more’ in relationships, they last longer, involve more commitment (including living together), and often include kids. Which means that there are fewer ‘gaps’ and that those gaps coincide less and less frequently with those of other potential lovers or partners who’re in relationships themselves.
So affairs are not only good for us, they’re essential. Not just for the fun of continued sexual variety, but more importantly for the massive improvement they represent in overlapping with potential future lovers.
But please don’t tell my lover.